Today was a day where I would have just loved to be able to step off the day. And watch it spin by. To stop being a part of this crazy combination of joy and pain of present and past. Of sin and forgiveness.
My previous call was a challenge dear reader, to put it mildly. If you were there with me, or knew me then, you know it took everything in my being to stay. To put up with what I did. To love the people and not be dragged down by the brokenness. The broken system.
And today we find out that the system was even more broken than we knew. Even more sin filled. Even more in pain. And my heart hurts for them. For those in my past who continue to have to relive those moments of pain, of anger, of shame.
And then I ride the roller coaster up...up to the present where I walk my dog down a country road and am thankful for the peacefulness here. Thankful for the quiet. Thankful for these people among whom have called me and blessed me with a chance to teach, to preach, and to care for them.
And then, quick speeding down again...a confirmation class where no one seems to care, where no one comes prepared. Where my heart and soul feel a bit trampled as kids blow this stuff off as something that doesn't matter.
And in my head, I want to yell...but it does matter, don't you see? Because there are broken people and broken systems. And you might not be part of it now, but you will be some day. You might be lucky now, but evil will invade. You might be in a protected place now, but we are fragile creatures...and don't you know that you need these tools I am offering? Don't you know that it easier to build your faith now when life is good, then to try to pick up broken pieces when it all falls apart.
It's a roller coaster dear reader, and some days I just want to get off. I want to get off and watch it go flying by and be thankful for a break. But then I take a deep breath. I pray. I crawl back into the seat next to God, and away we go again. Because this is the call we have been given. To minister in the valley and on the mountain...on the prairie and on the plain.
Thanks be to God that He sits beside us.
Grace and peace,
Preaching Kate
